Terminating the Bots.

Sometimes I hate twitter. The influx of marketing people and spam bots have made it almost unusable at times. I can only imagine what it’s like for people with 100 times the followers I have. It must be relentless.

Just now I got a spam message out of the blue. My response was swift and unmerciful public excoriation.

this is the message I got that drew my rage.. followed by his response to my response.

Now… if it was not meant as spam, why did it come from nowhere and why is that the only message they tweet. Not spam, right…

I hate twitter sometimes.

Birth

It’s quite a thing to be present for your own birth. To find yourself in a situation that, until that very place and time, was merely aspirational. To find yourself watching as if removed from your body. Only to find when you return that you’re no longer looking through the same eyes. Something has changed. Everything has changed. 

This new me feels much like the old me. I ache and scream and love what I can’t have. A newly formed impossible mix of incredible black chaos and soft selfless peace. 

Birth is traumatic but now that it’s been survived it’s time to focus on walking. 

Strike Journal: From the line…

I can feel the ghost of old Joe Hill watching. His blood, and the blood of every man and women spilt in the pursuit of fairness and justice. It colours how I’ve acted and how i perceive every vote and the bullshit political posturing of phoneys.  Their ideas built on silver matchstick foundations.  

Ours is not a memorable struggle. There will be no great songs sung about us, no footnotes in the great stories of history. Just a small group out on the edge. A small group pitted against an incredibly stubborn, corrupt, and deceitful foe. For them scorched earth seems the tactic of choice. There may be no company to work for after this is over. 

Here we stand at the end of the fifth week. This has lasted far longer than any of us thought. We still stand strong as we are sickened by the elements, heckled and supported by the Victoria public, and thinned by the rationing of food. 

Our group, as raggedy as we might now be, shall not be moved. Shall not be intimidated by the idle threats of self proclaimed “authorities;” and raise our fists in defiance of an employer who’s motto is “do as I say, not as I do.”

Brother, can you spare a dime?…

Jason Walsh
From the line. September 20th, 2009. 16:20    

The Fates of Love

Love, and the paths you have to take to get to it, have been in the forefront of my mind this week. Within the span of one week I got the first email from the girl I love in almost two years, my sister got engaged, and my 83 year old grandmother got engaged. Yes, you read that right. :P

I’ve wrote about Heather and I ad nauseam before. I won’t rehash the story. It’s enough to say I am, and always will be, in love with that girl. Needless to say her initiating contact with me for the first time in that length of time was confusing to say the least. It’s not unusual for her to be back visiting from her adopted home in England. This particular visit was for her friend Jessica’s wedding. Another wedding. I’m seeing a pattern. Why in the midst of this wedding prep she thought of me enough to reach out and try and meet up is a question left for her. Trying to reason it out has only left me sickly, depressed and longing for her.

I believe in fate. I believe that some things are meant to be and carry out as they do. Not from some heavenly power, but from us. There are things we’re drawn to. Things we know in our hearts we will do and see and experience. Those of us stubborn enough to hold on to those feelings know the joys of fate. I’ve also thought Heather and I we’re fated to be together. The very first moment I met her it was “oh there she is..”

I bring up the idea of fate to mostly comfort myself in my aching and longing for her. A feeling I’ve carried every single day for the last 6 years. It show’s no sign of abatement. There’s been other girls. Some I’ve liked more than others. None we’re her, nor did I expect them to be.

One of my best friends, Zeb, has been happily married for a few years now. A lovely wife and two adorable children. They met when they were children. When Zeb was 16 and Alicia was 13 he said “I’m going to marry that girl.” He did. It took ten years but it happened like he said it would.

My grandmother will have her 83rd birthday this month. As I said before she’s recently gotten engaged. The man she’s marrying is a man she’s known for 50 years. They’ve always been interested in each other. It would just never work out. One would be married and the other would be single.. etc etc.

My sister met her boyfriend on eharmony. They hit it off immediately. Spending almost every extra minute together. They’ve only been dating a few months. Now they’re engaged. This has an air of fate to it because he’s not at all the type she usually dates. At all. In fact almost completely opposite in every way. I love my sister and I’m happy for her but it all brings me back to Heather

Those are all sweet stories and they give me hope that Heather and I may still work out. For whatever reason our previous relationship scared her. She backed off and ran into the nearest set of arms she could find. These are her issues. She’s a scared little girl who plays at being grown up in a lot of ways. Tho I reel slightly from saying that as I’m in no different position. Stagnating in a life I hate. In a town that continues to feel more like a prison.

Fate, Stubbornness, or a lie I tell myself so I don’t burst into tears every waking moment? I’m not sure. The only thing I do know is that nothing in my life ever felt right except her and music. Something I also felt “destined” to do almost 10 years before I even learned to play.

Life is strange.
J

First Line

Fear not brothers and sisters.
As quiet falls upon the city
Disquiet fills our humble part of it.

Fear not for their fear is our ally.
It nourishes us
Sustains us.
Gives us life.

An indefinate an uncertain future
Is not disheartening.
For the future of the righteous
Is filled with the greatest joys of this world.

I soak up purpose
Through the very pours of the sidewalk.
Sidewalks soaked in the blood
Of those gunned and clubbed
And maimed and hung
So I can wear this sign.

Fear not brothers and sisters.

Strike Journal: The Calm Before…

To me ,you are yellow, something like puss.
I’m talking right now so you just hush.
You can huff & puff, or puff & huff.
I’ve had all I can take of this messy stuff.
I can’t take no more,
I’ve had enough! -Joe Hill

We’re sitting in limbo at the moment. Tuesday we voted unanimously in favour of strike action at work. Now we wait for the paper work to be filed with the proper agencies and shoved into the various nooks and crannies of government.

Tom Petty said waiting is the hardest part. This is true in this situation. I’m waiting with an excited nervousness. Even tho I anticipate things will work out for the best, in life nothing is certain. So we wait till we see if our employers will unpuff their chests and actually give us the offer we want. We aren’t asking for anything unfair. Simply that we make the same as our direct competitors make for doing the same job. Or less work if you count all the incidental personal assistant type bullshit we’re expected to do.

They are helpless without us. They just don’t want to realize that. The day is coming that they will have no choice but to accept that. Three weeks from now I should be walking the line, with guitar and sign, singing songs made famous in the labour struggles of the 20th century. I’ve been reading my Joe Hill and Woody Guthrie, listening to Pete Seeger and Bob Dylan, all in preparation for a potentially dirty fight.

More to come Brothers and Sisters. more to come.

Mark the date…

Take a trip with me back in time. It’s a cool summer evening in 2007. July 8th 2007. I’m currently well into a third of a bottle of Jameson. It had been a rough week and I was in rougher shape for it. So, seeing as I had nothing to loose, I professed my drunken love for a girl I’ve been crazy about since I met her in 2003. She moved away in 2004 before I had a chance to do anything about it. On this night I would. Seen below.

I expected to be laughed at. What followed was the best, most intense, three months of my life. Low and behold she had feelings for me as well. If not for the fact she now lives abroad they would have been months spent madly and passionately in love together. But she does. In September that year she would break my heart worse than anything ever had before. It was my own personal apocalypse. Her reasons are her own. I have my theories but they’re just that.

They say the measure of any choice is if knowing how it would all work out would you do it again? Yes. Unequivocally yes. So the day is marked with bittersweet tears and smiles and by the songs I wrote for her.

Miss you Belle.

Related Post: The Tenacity of History

Winner's Don't do Kitty Porn.

My coworker Joshh received another one of our boss’s ridiculous letters today. He was informed that he will be serving one day suspension. This is alright with him as he wanted to go to four days a week anyway and she was refusing. The logic confuses me. Keep in mind the context. Joshh gets this letter while another coworker is free to smoke crack in the office bathroom. It hurts my head.

The letter reads as follows. Reprinted verbatim including all grammatical and spelling mistakes

Re: Computer

Dear Josh
You have been notified about personal usage on the Company Computer. Today I have seen the numerous pictures of your tattoo’s, as well as your vacation trip, & now it has kittens

You have disregarded the verbal & written notices you have received.

You are hereby suspended for 1 day without pay, date to be announced.

Futher continuance of this could lead to further disciplinary actions which could include Suspension and/or Termination.

Sincerly,
Victoria Taylor, GM

Jason's Twitter Updates for 2009-06-16

• This may border on blasphemy, but I think Lena Heady is a better Sarah Conner than Linda Hamilton. #
• When did Jack White start looking like Johnny Depp? http://twitpic.com/7im15 #
• I'm supposed to be leaving. I made the mistake of pickin up the guitar. Now I have the first first to a new song. Wth #
• "It’s too hard to tell you. It’s too hard to die. I can’t see the sun with this blood in my eyes." http://tumblr.com/x1p21yhjw #
• Peggle in bed. I love weekends. #
• And we have a t1000. Shitcicles! #
• Termination override? What the hell just happened? Intruiged. #

Jason's Twitter Updates for 2009-06-15

• Left 4 Dead survival mode is insane. #
• Waiting for da bus. Ho hum.
  http://bit.ly/13p0kC
  http://twitpic.com/7fy08 #
• victory is mine. I made that cisco bitch my bitch. My work in esquimalt is done. #
• This is becoming a frustrating exercise. The router won't pass traffic for some reason. #
• Kid getting cuffed and hauled off by police at the skatepark. Yep in Esquimalt :/ #
• "You’re not ill, and I’m not dead. Doesn’t that make us the perfect pair?" – Frightened Rabbit http://tumblr.com/x1p21m75v #
• "I’ve never gotten used to it. I just learned to turn it off. Either I’m too sensitive or else I’m…" http://tumblr.com/x1p21m1be #
• If you see here, say hello. She might be in Tangier. #
• So much for the phone. Off to trudge to esquimalt to be the network superhero that I am. #
• the kids don't know… they can only guess..hard it is to wish you happiness. ? http://blip.fm/~88eju #
• yay for setting up a network over phone! :/ #
• Fifities inspired sci fi dreams becomes one about going on tour and making out. Didn't see that plot twist coming. #
• My eyes feel like they're melting. Damn plant sex. #